Monday, June 20, 2011

For my daddy...

Since there is a mail strike going on, I realized I won't be able to get my fathers day card out to my dad. So to continue my new-found tradition of blogging the events that pass my every day life, I thought I would write a little bit about us.

I will be the first to admit we didn't always have the relationship we have today. At one point in my childhood I had to make the difficult decision of choosing between my old life, my mom and new baby sister, or moving to a new city where I knew nobody. Unfortunately I went about it in the worst way possible, by abruptly leaving the home I grew up in via taxi and moving into my moms place in the course of a mere few hours. It still makes me sick to my stomach to think of what I did to my dad, but I was afraid he would stop me if I didn't do it in the manner I did. I'll spare the painful details, but it resulted in us not speaking for a year. My mom finally forced me to spend a weekend at my dads place to make amends. And apologies were exchanged, but I don't think either of us felt the same about eachother after that point. The trust between us was lost, but we made nice as best we could.

I did end up moving in with my dad at the end of my twelfth year and proceeded to spend my first summer in the city partying with my friends. I came and left at all hours, and looking back on it, I didn't realize how selfish I was being. At the end of the summer, I was supposed to move down to Lethbridge to be with my high school boyfriend. Knowing in my heart that I couldn't do it (for various reasons I won't get into, because thats not what I'm blogging about!) My dad spent his whole day driving my sorry butt down there so I could break it off with my now ex (but best friend- like I said, another blog for another day) and patiently waited until I was ready to head back to Calgary to live with my dad and sister. That was the first eye opening experience that showed me my dad wasn't the bad guy I had made him out to be...

A few months had passed and I eventually got myself a job at a gift shop. I met a guy I thought was cool, and promptly moved in with him (I later found out he was a drug dealer- sorry daddy, I didn't know!!) so to make a long story short, my then 'flavor of the month' some would say, ended up in the hospital for a month in a drug induced coma, due to a severe asthma attack. Well my dad, once again, was there for me. I'm sure he didn't approve of anything I was doing at the time, but regardless, he loved me and was there for me when I most badly needed him. We started talking more often and I started opening up to him more about my life. When the dude and me didn't work out, daddy was up in a flash to move me out of the one-roomed basement we called our house and I was quickly back home again. This time more greatful to be there, for the things he had done for me general in the past few years and throughout my childhood.

Now a few years have passed, and I've done alot of growing and changing since then. He has married an incredible woman who I know makes him truly happy, and he has a whole new life up north to keep him busy. I say this with no resentment, becuase after everything he has gone through, nobody deserves true happiness more than him. I am so proud to be able to call him my father, through all our ups and downs, he has done his best to see me through them all and has always done what he thought was right as a father. His strength and wisdom has helped mold me into the woman I have become. I'm still working at my own fairy tale ending, but don't worry about what twists and turns life will throw at me next because I know I have his support and advice anytime I need it. Plus I have seen what life has thrown at him and know if he can do it, so can I, because I am my fathers daughter.

So this is my thankyou to my father, for EVERYTHING he has done for me, for thinking of me, and worrying about me and being there through some of my toughest times. Tougher times are still to come but I am SO greatful and lucky to have him here for me now and forever!

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