Sunday, March 6, 2011
Growing, growing, grown?
Its a beautiful day, and early this morning I got a wake up call. A small reminder from a perfect stranger why I love my family and why I can thank them for making me the person I am today.
No, we didn't have the perfect life, or the perfect family, but through all our flaws, we grew... matured... and realized that even though it might not all be good, we can still do the right thing and be the bigger person. That means standing up for yourself, or other people. Its selflessly putting yourself out there, going where people won't go and being proud of who you are.
The people who raise you, however, still play a role in the things you pick up. ie. passive aggressiveness, manipulation, love, TRUST- its up to you what you absorb and what you reject. Its a choice you make and its unfair to blame the ones who made you. So you might as well thank them for trying!
For the next little rant, please take the word 'parent' as someone who has an understanding of what it takes to raise a child, or have beautiful kids of their own. Whether you are an older sibling watching them grow, or are very close to a child in your family or even a close friend. Basically a kid you would consider your blood and would only want the very best for.
When we were kids we relied on our family to feed, clothe, and care for us. As they were teaching us right and wrong, our minds were developing their own sense of what was/is right and wrong. For example! (and this is what prompted me to write today, so thank you crazy stranger)
-One parent may feel that their children should be subjected to every horrible thing in the world, because, after all, that's reality right? They should just get used to it.
-Another parent however may feel the need to protect their kids. Why subject children to war, crime or fighting. Even further, how to even explain it to them? These parents feel that the kids should be kept in the dark, let them be kids until reality hits.
If your asking my opinion, I don't agree with either. I don't think any parent would. There are so many grey scales on this topic, but in the end it is up to the parent to decide what the child should or should not be subjected to. On that note, I also feel that it is nobody elses place to tell you what that child should be subjected to.
I feel that on one end, anyone who truly loves their child would never cast them to the wind, allowing them to be hit with whatever reality became them. Instead they would protect their baby, but not shelter them from every big bad wolf. Touchy subjects will at some point have to be explained, but not directly if there is no need. No eight year old needs to understand why people are dying every day over diamonds, but they do need to know about things that affect their daily life. Family issues for example. They don't need a play by play to get them down, but its only fair to explain the end result and what will happen next IF IT PERTAINS TO THEM.
There is no way to control what the child themselves absorbs, or how perceptive they are of situations (kids are smart and usually know whats going on anyways) and when all is said and done, what will be, will be.
If your child is already grown and is everything you had hoped they would be then congrats, they learned well! If there have been bumps along the way, conflict, and tears, then welcome to the real world. I've never heard anyone say they had the perfect parents, actually most of the time you only hear about what someone will do differently than them- don't get me wrong, they tried their best and hopefully you love them for it like I do mine. My parents are passionate about our happiness, they would give their lives, like I would mine. So all we can hope for, is to be our parents' version 2.0, new and improved!